An Open Letter to the General Public

First, a few basic guidelines:

Ladies:

  • It's called a bra - wear it.
  • Bikini tops are not considered a shirt.
  • We don't care how pretty your little pedicure is with your ankle bracelet: put some shoes on.
  • If your butt is not actually covered, it's not actually a skirt.
  • If there is snow on the ground, high heels and bare feet only  make you look stupid, not sexy.
  • Same goes for spaghetti straps.
  • Oh honey...if you don't know how to walk in high heels, please don't wear them, because it looks painful and makes everyone cringe.

Guys:

  • Cologne is not to be used as a body wash.  If everyone you walk past appears to be silently gagging - it's you.
  • On the flip side: indoor plumbing is not some newfangled witchery.  Showers.  Take them.  Regularly.
  • When you put on the 'cool/tough-guy' walk...you do know you look like a jackass, yes?
  • Standing too close/leaning/any attempt to use your larger height or size to intimidate a cashier or other female employee...all you've achieved is to piss us off and make us want to help you less.
  • Cashiers are friendly because they're supposed to be.  Just because she smiled at you doesn't mean she wants you.  (And if any of the above apply, I guarantee she doesn't want you.)
  • Spandex = Big No-No.
  • For fuck's sake, take off your sunglasses.  You're not Jack Nicholson.

Common Sense For Everyone:
  • You do not have the right to treat service workers like crap.
  • It doesn't matter how much money you make or spend in a given place - still don't have the right to treat people like crap.
  • Playing the "I didn't know" game with return policies is not acceptable. You know. Everyone knows. Don't be a dillhole.
  • If something is wrong with your order, it's not the server's fault. By all means, send it back - but politeness goes a long way. 
  • Remember, service workers are people, too. You may be having a bad day, but chances are, so is your cashier/waitress/whatever. Common courtesy is all it takes. You don't want to be the guy that the workers are bitching about/laughing at in the breakroom. And trust me, they WILL remember you if you behave badly.




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