God's Facebook Account

I would like to open this post by saying I mean no offense to God, any religion, or any person. Everyone has their own views and I'm not going to get into "Is there a God?" and religious beliefs because I'm pretty sure one blog post isn't going to change anyone's views.  (As well it should NOT.)

Occasionally though, I think sometimes when someone is trying to be clever with their inspirations, the message gets lost:

Saw this on facebook
Okay, I know the whole idea was all: oh, remember when things are overwhelming, God's got it under control.  Yay, God.
Yeah...when I read this, my very first thought was:
So when I'm drowning, God is standing on me, keeping my head under water?

Again, saw this on facebook
Now again, I know in the larger sense, they meant that the only REAL problem in life, the only thing we REALLY need to worry about is our soul.  And yet...
I'm reading this and thinking...So God is going pay the rent today?  Awesome, Thanks, God!
And when I have to cough up the money to get a cavity fixed, my dentist is absolutely going to take the "God's going to take care of it for me" plan.  No problem. Just put it on God's tab; He's good for it. 
Just sayin'. . . .
Finally...I know on facebook sometimes people are just trying to spread the love.  But sometimes, spreading the love is incredibly stupid.  Like "click 'like" if you love God."  Or "Repost this if Jesus is the best thing in your life."  I have a standing policy to NOT click like on things that say "Like this if you think..." (gas prices are too high, or congress is stupid, or whatever).  It's the facebook equivalent of Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: and I hate it and refuse to participate no matter what the subject is.  "Click 'Like' if your mother is the best thing in the world." (Go fuck yourself.)  And there's the wonderful: "If you love Jesus, share this photo.  Fact: 90% of people won't share this photo.  Are you one of the 10% who are brave enough to proclaim they love God?" Okay, you know what?
I'm pretty sure God's not sitting up there thinking: Gee, Becky didn't repost that random sign someone made up on facebook...she must not care enough.  Screw her.
Really?
No.
I'm pretty sure that when the day of judgment is here, St. Peter is going to be like "Well, you were often pretty nice...but you were quite a bitch, too."  I don't think he's going to be all "How come you didn't share that picture? How come you didn't type Amen to equal one prayer?  Don't you love God?"  
Pretty sure that's not how it works.
(If it is, we are ALL fucked.)
Finally...you know how on the right hand side they show recommended pages based on what your facebook friends like?  One day I actually saw something that showed a page for "God."  And it said that two of my friends liked this.
Um....
Because God is sitting in Heaven wishing more people would follow His facebook page? 






3 comments :

  1. Hilarious!, I think it's your best one yet, and am looking forward to your Carrots Facebook account, you should have Bugs Bunny drop by : )

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  2. I laughed out loud a couple times. :) Everything you said is so true. :)

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    Replies
    1. Glad I made you laugh. :)

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