I Am So Smart?


I  had a shit-tastic day at work the other day.  When that happens, there are only a few cures:
1.) A big, delicious meal (that I didn't cook) followed by rich, decadent dessert.  (Because you know what? It's not pretty, but it's true: food can make you feel better).
2.) A  (big) yummy glass of cheap "wine."  (Boone's Farm Fuzzy Navel, I'm looking at you.)
3.) Conan.
4.) (Old school) Metallica.
And finally:
5.) Languishing in a hot bath with plenty of bubbles.  (Link will take you to the best bubble bath I've ever used.)

So I was looking at number 5 on the list, possibly combined with a cold beer (to drink, not for the bathwater).
Pretty great, right?
Yeah, I couldn't get the stupid drain stopper to stay down.
My super-sophisticated drawing of how our stupid tub drain works (or doesn't).



In an ideal situation, the above would have actually happened.  But for some reason, it just would not stay down.  No matter how many times I said "Stay down, fucker!" the dumb thing wouldn't listen and just kept popping back up.
So, no bath.
Later...
I had realized if I could find something to put around the drain and form a vacuum seal that way, it wouldn't matter that the drain part was being a jack-ass.  I'd just override it.
So I thought and thought and thought.
Ah-hah!
I bought a brand new fresh toilet plunger. (Because an old one? Eew.)
My plan was to pull off the rubber bottom plungy part and just stick it over the drain and create a seal and viola! a perfect use of my logical reasoning skills.  Maybe I don't know how to make the drain do what I want the "normal" way, but I sure can get around that and do it my way.  On the way home from the store, I was quite pleased with myself.  I couldn't stop thinking: "I am so smart!"  (And yes, I did think it in bold face font.)  No more fighting with the drain again, ever.  I'd just pop 'ole plungy on top and everything would be fine.  Bubble bath and a Bud Light, coming right up!

Sadly, it didn't quite work like that.  You have to be able to push the plunger thingy all the way down in order for it to create the vacuum seal I was hoping for.  Only one problem with that: the dumb drain (my new nemesis) was blocking this from happening.  So the rubber plungy part sat on top of the drain looking stupid and not creating a water-blocking impenetrable seal of doom at all.  Frowny face.

So 'ole plungy never got used and will be going back to the store.  *Sigh.  I guess I'm going to have to call the maintenance man to get the drain fixed proper.  Poo.

There is an upside to this story, aside from my award-winning art work.
I set plungy down in the entryway next to the coat closet to await return when I next went to the store.  Shortly thereafter, Sufi started swatting at the wooden handle part, leaping up and hitting the top of it and knocking the whole thing down, only to cry so we'd stand the stupid thing up again and he can swat it down again.  The payoff:
After playing like this for a while, Sufi looked to me with big eyes like: "Aunt Becky, you are so smart...you're like a genius."

Yeah I am.


1 comment :

  1. It was funny, he thought that we bought him this wonderful new toy for him, it was adorable to watch him slowly stand up to put his paw at the top, all delicately, only to then knock it down with a quick thrust!

    ReplyDelete


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