Things Shawn Says:



"Do you really need another chapstick?" (Um...yes.)

"Wait. Tweezers cost HOW MUCH?"

"I thought there was something weird about the pockets." (I asked Shawn if he knew he was wearing his cotton pajama shorts backward.)

I had two slices of Pizza Hut stuffed crust the other night (never again) and I woke up in the middle of the night and spontaneously puked....all over the bed. Like, the puking is what woke me up. (Ugh...it was so nasty.) So I stripped myself down and stripped the bed and double mouth-washed and all the stuff you do after you puke and I also had to wash the stuffed monkeys Shawn and I have in our bed. Because we are grown-ups. Those of you who follow me on instagram will have seen the occasional pic of our sleeping buddies. Anyway, I was sleeping on the couch, all broken up sleep between loads of laundry to make sure everything got cleaned. When Shawn came home in the morning, he saw me on the couch with the biggest monkey, Mr. Bongos, his special monkey, and was like
"What are you doing sleeping on the couch?"
"I got sick and threw up, so I had to wash the bedding."
Suddenly very alarmed. "Is Mr. Bongos okay?"
^True story, yo.

Tonight as Shawn and I were eating dinner, we had this conversation:
"What's with all these weird blocks of cheese that didn't melt?"
.......?
He points to one. "They're everywhere. It's like one of the main parts of the dish."
(At this point you guys, I could not stop laughing because he was so serious and concerned about the amount of cheese in this dinner.)
"Honey, those are sweet potatoes."
"Oh! Well that makes sense. I thought it was funny tasting cheese."
For real, you guys. I can't make this up.


And bonus:
My brother was digging in the bathroom cupboard. I was all
"What are you looking for?"
"I need to get one of those ear sticks you buy."


(Yes, Q-tip.)



5 comments :

  1. bahahahahaha amazing

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  2. hahaha aw i love the one about mr. bongos!

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  3. LOL.....I think I shall forever call Q-Tips ear sticks.

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  4. ((smh)) Sometimes you just can't help but laugh at some things guys say . . . thanks for sharing :D

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  5. LOLS. Never ask if you *need* another chapstick, those are just a given to living life.

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