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Sunday Confessions November 27, 2016




I confess: I have the flu. And this is now my life:

South Park sick flu coughing cough


I confess: I work with kids. (Most of the people I work with on a daily basis are in their early twenties.) And they do not get many of my references. I said something about walking around like Mr. Magoo and they had no idea. (Granted, Mr. Magoo was before my time, but at least I caught re-runs.) They also weren't aware that Garfield Holiday Specials were a thing, didn't know about the awesomeness that was Muppet Babies, and I could keep going on. It made me feel a little old but also a tiny bit smug. Like, my generation is so much awesome - er than your generation. I imagine every generation feels this way. It was pretty funny, too, because as I explained what some of these things were, they kind of looked at me like "okay Grandma, good story." But you know, not in a mean way. Playful co-worker but also you-are-a-weirdo way.


I confess: I found a Christmas movie that has the plot description "Santa has an allergic reaction to a bunch of cats that stow away on his sled" and I am definitely excited to watch it next time it comes on. (Couldn't watch it because - you know - stupid college football trumps cheesy Christmas specials.) 







Fun Pictures




I am always delighted whenever I cut open a pepper and find a little
starter pepper is happening inside of itself. Have you guys seen how awesome this is?
If not, look!
So now I am in love with finding pepper babies.


 Just a pic from our trip to the U.P.

 Mackinac Bridge (pronounced "mack-in-aw")

 Pardon my finger blur spot.

This sign made me laugh harder than it should have.

Sunday Confessions November 20, 2016





Sunday Confessions November 12, 2016


So get this guys. In an effort to be more on top of my blogging, I put the blogger app on my phone and THOUGHT I posted this post on time. But then apparently I didn't? So I'm still working out the kinks. D'oh!
So since it's now WEDNESDAY, I just took out the link-up button, but here are the confessions. :) 
Please enjoy, like a next-day Thanksgiving sandwich.





I confess: Guys, I am STOKED. The Schmuckersons are FINALLY on their way out. No more games, no more delay tactics. The countdown is in progress. The 19th, guys. This is as close as I can get to expressing how truly thrilled I am to see those fuckers go:



I confess: The day after the election I was really depressed. Not just because of the Presidential race but because of state, county, and city results. I was depressed by human behavior on both sides of the line, I was depressed for the future of America and humanity. So we bought Jingle All the Way and watched it while eating ice cream to take our mind off of everything for a couple hours.
PS - It worked. And I don't care how stupid Jingle is (it's really stupid) - watching Phil Hartman as a creeper is hilarious.

I make this same face when I eat pizza.

I confess: I haven't even been trying to lose weight or eat healthy. I need to, I'm not proud of it, I have no excuses. I can't be like "well, I've been on the road for 50 weeks . . . ." Nope. No excuses. Just lazy and I cave very easily to my temptations. Feel like ice cream? Yes. Let's.





Film Friday: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse


source/imdb


At first, Scouts Guide sounds awesome. I mean: boy scouts using their boy scout skills to fight off a zombie outbreak? AWESOME, right?
Not so much.
Premise: Ben, Carter, and Augie are boy scouts (in high school, blech) who are on a camp out, and Carter talks Ben into bailing on their childhood friend and instead going to a senior party because . . . he's a freshman and thinks senior girls will be impressed with his penis. He thinks everyone with two X chromosomes are gagging for him.


How I feel about Carter in a nutshell: 
(and you will too, if you watch the movie)



Ben is simply boring. Dull. Uninteresting. Flat.
 That's pretty much all there is to Ben. He is intended to be the 
likable every-guy main hero. But he's a pile of sawdust.
(Sawdust actually more interesting.)
 

And Auggie & his scenes, while not hilarious, were at least:


And so, in the process of trying to get to this "epic" senior party that is just going to be the "night of their lives" (LMAO cough cough) they half-ass stumble upon a half-ass zombie not-exactly-an-apocalypse and then proceed to spend the rest of the movie being whiny bitches and NOT using boy scout skills but instead focusing on THE DESPERATE NEED TO GET TO THE PARTY -  the motivation for which being for Ben that his crush is there and for Carter that he is still planning for the (lol) getting laid. 

They maybe use a couple of their scouts skills here and there a bit throughout the movie, but it's nothing a layman couldn't do, to be honest. Sharpen a stick, tie a knot. Only as they prepare for the climatic battle scene (which has flashing lights to the point of being nauseating - look, I get it, you wanted to cover up your shitty effects and choreography, but there are less headache-inducing ways to accomplish your goal.

Ultimately the humor is crude - and not funny, silly, low brow, but Peter Griffin thinks this is genius low-brow, eye roll crude. I like a good fart joke, a good penis joke. But ugh. There is a line.
They took what is actually a clever premise, sucked out all the clever and replaced it with the lowest common denominator of what SOME consider humor. The end result is a movie that is virtually unenjoyable unless you are male and your voice is still cracking. Again, the few exceptions to this are (most) of Augie's scenes.

E
(Spared F by Augie)

Heads Up: Violence (fairly mild, IMO), language, nudity

Available HERE



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