Sunday, April 14

Furry Biscuits

So today I'm going to talk about genitalia and it's furriness.  Some people may prefer to sit this one out for various reasons.  Here is fair warning to leave now if you absolutely want nothing to do with this post.  I promise I won't be offended.


Okay, so for those of us who are still here, let's dive in, shall we?
I've had opinions on this subject for a rather long time, and I've considered writing about it for some time, but only recently did I decide that you know what? - I am not going to be ashamed to address this topic.

So . . . this came up in my facebook feed, shared by a female friend.

So...I'm not into the Brazilian or Hollywood look. I'm sorry if this is more information than some of you feel like you need to know about me, but in fairness, I did warn you.
Anyway . . . why am I not so into it?
So many reasons. 
There are times that maybe you want to experiment, have a little fun.  Cool.  Maybe you're feeling nostalgic like you want to reenact Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" video, in which case a landing strip might be a good idea.  (Also: condoms.  Just sayin'.)  I'm not saying there is no call for fun or experimentation, because there very much is. 
(And in the spirit of full disclosure, the answer is yes, I have tried out the totally bare look in the past.)

But increasingly, the full-on Hollywood (or at the very least, a Brazilian), is the expected norm as if having pubic hair is a freakish mutation brought on by eating too much chocolate.
And believe me - I am definitely not calling all women to abort operation: landscaping and go full-on '70's porn fro. (Although if that's your preference, by all means. . .)

So where does this come from? I don't know.
Maybe blame the porn industry? I certainly blame the porn industry for (many) men thinking anal is 
1.) automatically sexy and 
2.) naturally not only a part of every woman's repertoire but that she super enjoys it and is just gagging for it all the time.
Because: no.
Some women yes. Some women love anal. Some women not so much. 
But either way, it should not be an automatic given.

And nor should the expectation of having a completely hairless vagina.  Some women may just naturally enjoy it, and that is perfectly fine. Many of my friends cite just liking the way it feels, easier maintenance, and multiple sexual reasons.

But not all of us love it.
It is a choice, and should not be an expectation. Keeping your pubic hair - even liking it - is no more shameful than the choice to remove it.

Of course I'm not saying all guys feel this way. Of course they don't.  There are plenty of guys (and girls) out there who get turned on by bushes and bushes of hair - if they could have sex with Sasquatch the Urban Bushwoman, they totally would and it would be the best thing ever. Furries exist for a reason.

Again, the key is preference, choice. 
Not expectation.

If a guy claims that having hair down there is a deal breaker - or, they'll have sex, but they're not going down on you - this man does not deserve to have sex with you at all.  If he can't appreciate a nicely trimmed, clean, whisker biscuit in all its glory - don't give him any access to it at all, damn it! I'm not saying women should use sex for power at all - but - he (or she) should be happy to have access.... Not us being grateful that he would deign to sleep with someone who - gasp! - dared to keep some of her natural protective fur. 
(Incidentally, the same holds true for men removing their pubic hair.) 

Or, conversely, you could give the old quid pro quo in that if he expects full time maintenance, then he'd better be willing to reciprocate . . . because there are two main ways to do landscaping: waxing and shaving. There are problems with both.  While waxing would be the preferred method, it is quite expensive and the pain factor alone would be enough to put some women off. Shaving, on the other hand, is relatively inexpensive, however - keeping your lady taco nearly to completely whisker free is not only time consuming - but seriously - when that shit grows back, it is not fun.  It itches. It chafes. It doesn't feel right.  It's not soft and fluffy, as pubic hair should be. It's like leg stubble in your panties. And I've googled images of pubic razor burn; it's not a pretty sight. So if someone insists you be consistently shaved bare or nearly bare - I believe that man (or woman, as it were) - should in turn be shaved or waxed to their own standard in return.  

If the tables were turned and every man who insisted a woman be bare had to maintain the rigorous standards they expect, the issue of total hair removal as expectation would quickly become a non-issue. Sure, he may think it's fun for a little while, or for the occasional experiment, but wait until he gets some razor bumps or nicks on his balls because he's not getting head if there's a single hair present. Or better yet, let him pay to have someone pour hot wax on his boys and rip it off and see how long that lasts. 
(Side note: I've been noticing for a while that the male version of Brazilian is quite the thing and...WTF? I mean, dude. Trim 'er up, ok? Great! Awesome! And I get why they are doing it in porn. But...again I say WTF?) 
Suddenly hair not such a problem anymore, is it boys?  A little basic hedge trimming seems much more reasonable?  

And again, I must emphasize that not all women want to keep it. And not all men prefer the bare look. There is no 100% -everyone-likes-this-look or feel. It would be unfair to assume that. From internet comments, a lot of men are creeps who do and feel they are entitled to expect it. (Then again...internet.) 
However, I haven't conducted any informal surveys among my male friends like: "Yeah, I was disappointed in the most recent Chili Peppers album, too.  By the way, what are your thoughts on pubic hair?" (Cue me getting out my little pencil and notepad.)

And finally - yes - I do believe that while experimentation and fun is great and natural and exciting - if someone is ONLY turned on by a bare, hair-free vagina, then yes, this person has a problem.  It is not natural for a grown man to only be turned on by vaginas that look like they belong on pre-pubescent girls.  It IS creepy, okay?  Pubic hair - kept clean and basically neat and trimmed - is one of the physical hallmarks of adulthood and can, and should be appreciated as such.  

So I close with this: 
remove it if you want to, but not because you have to.
If you want to rock a full bush, more power to you.  
But most of all, keep it yours and don't let anyone else's preferences be the deciding factor.  Because just like there is a guy (or girl) out there who will adore the shit out of your personality just the way you are, there is also a guy (or girl) out there who is going to love the hell out of your parts exactly as you present them.


  1. I love it! What a great post. Very up front and you gave me a giggle and the cheering up I needed this evening :) I totally agree with you by the way.

  2. So I read this yesterday but couldn't comment because of stupid internet.

    "Yeah, I was disappointed in the most recent Chili Peppers album, too. By the way, what are your thoughts on pubic hair?" I DIED.

    I love you so much for posting this. And I agree with you X1000.

    I apologize in advance if this comment I'm about to make is inappropriate, but I have "known" a few men who have made a big deal out of fur down thur. I have also "known" a lot more who really just do not care, and frankly they are a lot more pleasant to "know." Just saying. Our bodies are kind of awesome and so are the men who appreciate them.

  3. This reminds me of a snippet I remember from the history channels History of Sex. In the 1800's? (my memory is really fuzzy, I watched this like over ten years ago) this guy refused to have sex with his wife because he had only seen the naked female body from Greek statues and he didn't know that women had hair down there and found it disgusting. The lady eventually figured out that a sexless marriage was not normal and had the marriage annulled.

    The hair is suppose to be there for a natural protection/lubrication layer. I don't know why it's considered gross :/

  4. Whisker biscuit!!! I love it!!!

  5. I don't like that guys expect women to be completely waxed now either--and that's coming from a chick who DOES wax--because, much like shaving my legs, sometimes I don't feel like doing it!

  6. Probably TMI, but I've been asked to shave/trim before. At first I was shocked, but there were no consequences to not doing it. I've actually never met a guy who minded.

    7% Solution​

  7. I agree with you 100%. I don't mind the shaving thing once in a while and I stress --once in a while-- but thanks to the porn industry I feel pressured to do that crap all of the time. The growing back process it's pure hell. Also, I've waxed on a few occasions for my boyfriend. It's safe to say this act breeds resentment. As I sit there self-inflicting pain I continually ask myself what the hell am I doing and is it worth it.

    As for anal, when did this become the norm?! One word --ouch--. I refuse. Period. The way I explain it to my boyfriend is when he lets me insert something if equal size into him then we'll talk.

    (Normally I would feel this comment is TMI but this post is pretty open so I just went for it. :) )

  8. The only people that used to shave were the prostitutes with crabs. And the term "beaver" came from those same prostitues wearing fake hair pieces on their lovelies so men wouldn't automatically know they were prostitues with crabs.

    Now you know!

    1. I have learned something new today!


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