Wednesday, June 10

Stuff Women Do That Annoys Men: A Commentary

So I was doing my blog reading when I came across this post from Heather @ It's Like a Potato. She had been reading a reddit forum about "things your girlfriend does that annoys you." (You can link to the forum on her site.)

Here's the topics:

I'm Fine
I know a lot of women use this as a secret warning/snake rattling their tail kinda thing. I don't. If Shawn asks how I'm doing and I respond with "I'm fine," it means I am so in my head right now.

Not Taking a Compliment
My husband has two modes of giving me compliments:
1.) Calling me sexy every time I walk by him and I am unable to change clothes without the "boobies grabbing" hands.
2.) Did you change your hair?
Sometimes he notices the nuances of hair and clothes, but not always. What he does say is "I love your ass." If we were only a few weeks in, that would be annoying. But after 9 years, that is a sincere, honest-to-goodness compliment about something he DOES notice. As a general rule, just say thank you.

Needing Constant Validation and Compliments -
But Not Giving Them
I think this evolves from when we are little girls. We get praised up and down as little girls for being pretty, but until we hit junior high, intelligence and personality aren't really noticed much. By then, many girls have become dependent on the need for "tell me I'm pretty" thing. Not all, but a lot.

Shawn and I compliment each other a lot. About everything. I think it's important to let people know what you like about them. It makes me feel good when the people I care about know it.

Don't Let Them Play Video Games
Hmmm. Shawn likes video games but he isn't Captain Playstation. He likes his online fantasy baseball stuff and plays that A LOT. And I love that about him. He should have something that is entirely his and he should be able to have hobbies. There are times, life before draft day, when it is a consuming production scene. But not very often, and usually afterward he takes me out for dinner on an evening for just the two of us.
Also? I have plenty of hobbies of my own that I get involved in and would be pissed if Shawn ever tried to stop me from enjoying.

Where Do You Want to Eat? I Don't Care
Welp, I have the opposite problem. Shawn says he doesn't care so I suggest a place and he vetoes it. So I suggest something else, and he doesn't want that, either. Mostly I think he doesn't know what he wants until he hears me say it, then it clicks.

Not Being on Time
That's just rude and disrespectful any way you slice it.

Getting Mad From Dreams - All Day
This is funny to me. Mainly because I have nightmares all the time, so I'm used to waking up feeling bad and being all "Ah, it was just a dream." It's fine to feel upset for a few minutes upon waking, but after that is just being ridiculous and playing games.

Not Ordering Fries/Dessert, etc., and Eating His
I honestly do not get this. I never have. If I want extra onion rings, I order extra onion rings and I don't share with Shawn, because he should've ordered onion rings if he wanted them. I am up for a bit of "I will trade you one of this for one of that," but otherwise it's hands off. And for Shawn, ice cream is a total bio-hazard lock down, trespassers-will-be-shot-on-site situation. During our first week together, we went to Applebee's and Shawn ordered a shake before his meal. (Yep. That's how we roll.) I asked for a sip. I took a sip and Shawn was like "Just keep it," and immediately flagged the waitress down for his own. Shawn does not share ice cream.

The I Feel Fat, Do I look Fat? Argument
Ladies, we have to accept that this is not a good place for men to be. They don't like it, so stop asking. It is a deathtrap and we know it. If you want validation, ask a female friend. If you just want your husband to tell you that you look nice, here are some better worded questions:
1.) Do you prefer this one or this one?
2.) Does you think I look nice in this?
And men. Here are the best answers you can give, whether she asks "Do I look fat?" or "Does this look good on me?"
1.) Babe, you always look good to me.
2.) I don't think you look fat. You are so hard on yourself. But if you're worried about it, I'll stop buying cookies.

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