Body Shape | Le Sigh

Body Shape | Le Sigh

{{{This post was inspired by/poached from this post by Heather.}}}

Well, let's start with the basics: 

I'm not going to tell you my exact measurements because while I am working on body acceptance and body positivity (for all sizes and shapes and colors and ALL) - I'd be lying if I said I was okay with my own size/weight and sharing it with the world. Maybe someday.

What I will share is that I am 5'2", for all intents and purposes. Depends how straight I stand up.

My bra size is DD and I find it hard to find a bra that fits well and is reasonably comfortable. That's all I ask for, and it's practically impossible, unless I want to spend $60+. (The answer is no.)

When I got married in 2006 and got fitted for my wedding dress, my measurements were:

Your bust is size 18.

Your waist is size 14.

Your hips are size 10.

(I am bigger/ heavier now.)

For me, there is no guesswork.

I am an:

inverted triangle/apple/ectomorph.

Some Stuff I Do Know About My Body/Appearance:

• I have small feet. I can frequently (not always) get away with wearing kids' shoes. The shoes I wore to my wedding were from the little girls section. However, the width and depth of my feet can also make it very difficult to find good shoes.
• I have bad posture (probably from a combination of the weight of my boobs and also years of trying to make myself as invisible as possible). It's a work in progress.
• I was a towhead right up until 8th grade when my hair started to change. It wasn't until 10th grade that I accepted having light brown hair.
• My eyes have that golden ring in the irises from the melanin thing.
• My feet get cold easily, even when the rest of me is sweating.
• I have literally ALWAYS been chubby. Pictures of me as a baby and up through toddlerhood into childhood are proof of that. 
• My neck is very short.

Some Stuff I Have Been Told About My Body/Appearance: 

(Unsolicited.)

• "That hair color doesn't suit you." - when I had purple hair in my early twenties
• "If God meant for you to have tattoos, you'd have been born with them." 
• "You need to tame that shit down." - About my hair.
• "You have a really sour face." - My mouth shape is naturally down-turned.
• "Why are your boobs so big?" - A random kid in a grocery line.
• "There's nothing worse than a fugly fat chick." - A former co-worker, giving me the 'I hope you know I'm talking about you' side-eye.
  
• "You should wear make up more often." - So many people after seeing my wedding photos.

- Okay, so the above ended up being more negative (except the kid, who was honestly just curious), and I searched my mind for compliments or positives and they pretty much all ended up like...not there?
   Of course people have complimented me or said nice things before. Female friends have said things like "I think you're beautiful," and I know Shawn finds me attractive. I'm sure my parents told me I was pretty when I was young - surely they did, but I cannot recall, which is odd because I have a pretty stellar memory. *Shrug.
   (It is worth noting again that this is related only to the physical.)

 I haven't been able to identify any specifics as to what part of my shape or appearance yields the most comments. I think it depends on the group the comments come from, but it doesn't really matter because no one has more commentary on my appearance than me.

I should also note that I am trying to work on body positivity and I'm doing great - with literally everyone else. With myself, I am still stuck trying to just accept myself.
But it is hard.
Very, very, hard.