Saturday, October 25

I am a Social Media Grump

  • I truly do not give a crap about your Keurig. I know it's supposed to be wonderful and all, but seriously, I. do. not. care. The minute I see anything on that topic or a picture of your coffee maker in my feed, I immediately click "mark as read" and move on. Because while I'm sure you're delighted with your new coffee maker, I have better things to read. 

  • For some odd reason, my bloglovin' feed is FULL of promoted bags by Coach. And my instagram promoted posts tend to be for - get this - Christian Louboutin. I understand ads and promoted posts and stuff, but really....I'm pretty sure I wouldn't buy those brands even if I COULD afford them, because they are grossly unnecessary. I'm just saying - maybe know your audience. A promoted post of interesting pen that I would look at.

  • I find I have less and less time for bullshit every day. By that, I mean people on facebook I'm only friends with because we once worked together for a few weeks - unfollow. Delete. Blogs I'm not truly interested in - unfollow. Instagram accounts that aren't that interesting - unfollow. Part of me hopes this doesn't make me a bitch and part of me is like "Dude, I am 34 fucking years old. I am going to like what I like and follow what interests me and only that."

  • On that note, I also find that I "like" a lot of things. A lot of instagram pics. And for a while I was afraid that I was being too freewheeling with how often I like a pic on IG. Because some people reserve their likes for things they REALLY like. I like a lot of pictures. And I am not going to apologize for that. I have decided there is nothing wrong with being unapologetically enthusiastic about something - especially in light of the fact that I'm so bitter and hateful about so much in the world. Might as well run with the good, right? 

Tuesday, October 21

Liebster x2 (Part 2) - Laura

So here is Part 2 of my dual nomination for the Lovely Liebster award.
This one came from Laura

1. What is your chapstick of choice?
- Original Burt's Bees, or Blistex in the little blue jar.

2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

  • 2 pair sandals
  • 1 pair loafers
  • 2 pair Converse
  • 1 pair work tennis shoes
  • 1 pair winter boots
  • 2 pair crap tennis shoes (old, worn out) for random days
  • 1 pair black strappy heels that haven't seen the light of day in about 3 years
  • 10 Total

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
 - All over the UK. 

4. What is your favorite sport to watch? To play?

 - Baseball to watch - I don't actually play sports. I'm more of a "I'll sit here and read my book during the big game" kinda person.

5. What's on your desk? (photos, calendar, food, etc...)

 - My desk sits in a corner of my bedroom and is rarely used as a desk - mostly we use our computers in the main living area. So what sits on it is a fan, a mirror I have no place else to put, and our printer, as well as whatever random paperwork I dump there (shred pile, to-be-filed pile...).

6. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?

 - Learning to speak up.

7. If you had to shop at one store for the rest of your life, what would it be?

 - Target. Which is funny, because they have a really shitty plus-size section. 

8. Salty or sweet?

 - Sweet. Definitely. 

9. Do you have a hidden talent? What is it?

 - I do not have a hidden talent, actually. 

10. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?

 - Weird.

11. What is your favorite Disney movie?

 - Um...I don't know. It depends what I'm in the mood for. Probably The Little Mermaid? 

Friday, October 17

October Reads

Maybe you're less the watcher of horror movies and more of the reader type. Here's a few ideas:

1.) Scared Stiff by Annelise Ryan
author page/source
A quick and enjoyable murder mystery that opens on Halloween and moves into straight up just Autumnal setting in a few short pages. You can see my whole review here.

2.) A Catered Halloween by Isis Crawford
author site/synopsis
Another super quick and enjoyable murder mystery, this one also has a touch of ghosts. This one has a bit more humor than Scared Stiff, if you enjoy some of that in your mysteries. This one is definitely more Halloween-centric as the whole thing takes place in the weeks leading up to Halloween doing a haunted house fundraiser. So if you are looking for a book that will have lots of pumpkins and decorations and candy corn and such, this is a good, fun read. My full review is here.

3.) The Raven and the Nightingale by Joanne Dobson
author site; click picture for further info

Not a specifically Halloween read, but a murder mystery that takes place in New England during autumn and has plenty of mood-setting imagery and just enough creeps to be a bit spooky. Well-paced and intelligent, this is actually just a perfect Autumnal mystery.

Of course all books are great and it's not necessary to read certain types of books at certain times of year. (I have been known to read Christmas mysteries in the middle of summer.) However, when the desire to to turn up the spook factor a bit, I find there really is no better time of year for a good murder than when it's time to curl up with a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa.

And of course, there is a long list of classics and new classics in the horror, mystery, gothic genre to choose from, as well as plenty of history books that can be scarier than any piece of fiction.

What do you like to read to make a chill run down your spine?

Tuesday, October 14

Some Things Are Not Okay

Kinda, yeah.

Well, it's been a month since I've posted.
I've also been off work for a month on Short Term Disability MFLA because I'm a freaking nutcase who apparently can't handle everyday life on normal terms the way you know - normal people - can.

sad animated GIF

I AM sick of myself. I'm sick of being the way I am. 
I was in a PHP for two weeks. I'm done now. 
It has not been a vacation or relaxing month off work.
What is has been is panic attacks and depression and feeling like a freak and trying to keep my shit together while everything is in limbo. It's been learning that I have a real problem with things being in limbo and not knowing and needing the security and feeling in control of myself and knowing what's next and having none of that right now.

I'm going back to work on Thursday.
I'm supposed to go back with restrictions of a consistent morning schedule, 32 hours/4 day work week based on the recommendations of a psychiatrist and a psychologist, both. I'm supposed to not be working with customers on the recommendation of the doctors, but that's not going to happen. I mean...I don't know. I won't know where I'm working and when and what until tomorrow and possibly not until Wednesday. 
That is not okay. 
The HR people at my work flat out told me they don't know how much (if any) of the restrictions they can accommodate and if they do, it will only be for a few weeks and then I have to be back up to a full 40 hours/week and also open availability. 
That is not okay.

(I mean, I get it, and I'll deal with it as each day comes, but still - not okay.) 

Our lease is up for renewal and our rent is being raised by $95/month. That is NOT OKAY. 
(No, moving is not an option at this point.)

There are so many things I want to talk about, I want to address, so many things I want to say that are just NOT okay. 
I'm NOT okay. But I'm better than I was. 
Am I looking forward to going back to work? 
Am I terrified of going back to work? 
Am I going to go back to work regardless of what restrictions and/or for how long they are met? 
Will it be scary and suck balls?
But I will be okay. 
Because slowly, I am learning to speak gently to myself. 
And because slowly, I'm also learning that "not okay" doesn't always equal "broken" and it's entirely possible to be not okay and okay at the same time.
And THAT is what makes it ok.