Thursday, November 30

Go Feck Yourself: A Work Story


OK. There is this dude at work, *Nick. I'm going to call him CW, short for what I actually call him. (Now, anyway.) And I like him. Not like-like, (because apparently I am currently in 8th grade?) but I just like him. I think he's a cool dude. He reminds me some of my friend *Christopher - quiet, kind of anti/selectively social, doesn't really talk without a purpose to it. Very punk vibe, obviously intelligent. So I am friendly to him. And I stick up for him when people bitch about him and say he's an asshole and a dickhead. Eventually, I friend request him on facebook, because apparently he is much more social behind a screen.
And nothing happens for about a week. Either he denied it or ignored it.
So I send a message that just says "what the fuck?"
Nothing. Maybe he ignored it, maybe he blocked me, I don't know. I don't send him any other messages though, because I'm not a psycho.
So I am like...whatever. I continue being myself, being friendly to him and everyone, just going about my business at work and in life. My friend *Angela and I get together once a week and do something, usually just coffee, but we were like, "We should invite him along, he might have fun? We could all see a movie sometime, or whatever."

A week or so goes by and I have a super shitty day at work. Everything is going wrong and everyone is getting on my nerves. Asshattery is abundant. So I am dropping something off at his station and and I'm like "Dude, what the hell? Is there some particular reason you dislike me so much?" and he's looking at me like I'm a crazy person (which, to be fair, apparently I am), and I go "Well, I'm trying to be friendly, trying to get to know you and maybe be friends, and. . ." (I did leave the sentence hanging.) And he responds with this sort of Ryan Gosling-esque blank stare for a second and then says, flatly:
"We work at the same place, that's it." Pause. "I mean, I don't have any bad feelings about you. . . ."
(LOLS, if he didn't then, probably does now.)

So I just respond like:

Cool GIF


So, yeah. 



Wednesday, November 22

Work Story of the Week

Okay, a work story:

The players*: 
  • Sandy, a waitress.
  • Jenny, a hostess.
  • Enid, a hostess.
  • All other employees.

So every day, just before opening, we have a morning meeting. Sometimes we have treats. Sometimes from promotions, sometimes people bring stuff in. 
Most often, someone will bring in donuts. Once in a while, someone will bring in cookies or something else.

Our story begins two weeks ago. Sandy, a server, had brought in a huge sheet cake. One of those from the bakery that has like fifty pieces. Well, she brought it in because she had ordered two from the bakery for her niece's 6th birthday: a yellow with chocolate frosting and a chocolate with chocolate frosting. She wasn't sure which everyone would prefer, so wanted them to have a choice. Well, no one touched the chocolate-chocolate, so she brought this massive sheet cake in that says "Happy Birthday Jenny!" on it for everyone to share. 

Now Enid is a hostess. And she is the sweetest person you could possibly imagine. She works hard, is dependable, thoughtful, kind. A better person than most. She also recently won a silver medal for hockey in our Special Olympics. See, the thing that is important for this story to make sense is that Enid happens to have Down Syndrome. In general, it makes no difference. 

But there was confusion surrounding the birthday cake. She thought the cake was for Jenny, our hostess. So she felt bad about missing someone's birthday and got her a card. (Nothing fancy, but it's the thought that counts.) So she gets this card and is going around the restaurant having all the employees signing a birthday card for Hostess Jenny and reminding everyone to wish her a Happy Birthday. Because she is one of the most thoughtful, considerate people. (Note: she and I happen to have the same birthday, and she brought cupcakes to share on her birthday and they disappeared pretty quickly and when she learned it was my birthday, too, she INSISTED on sharing her own cupcake with me and then went out and got me a card. See? Nicest girl ever.) 

Now, if you're wondering why no one corrected her about the Jenny whose birthday it actually was, it's because sometimes explaining things like that, or when she says "I'll see you tomorrow" and you try to explain you don't work tomorrow, but you'll see her Friday....well, those things are difficult to explain. She is in no way unintelligent, it's just that sometimes she doesn't quite get it when you're explaining certain things. 
So. We all sign this card. And we are all wishing Hostess Jenny a Happy Birthday. And Enid is feeling better and happy and sharing cookies she'd made for Jenny's birthday.
Also? Jenny's birthday? Is in July. 


Image result for um, happy birthday i guess



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