Friday, November 11

Film Friday: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse


At first, Scouts Guide sounds awesome. I mean: boy scouts using their boy scout skills to fight off a zombie outbreak? AWESOME, right?
Not so much.
Premise: Ben, Carter, and Augie are boy scouts (in high school, blech) who are on a camp out, and Carter talks Ben into bailing on their childhood friend and instead going to a senior party because . . . he's a freshman and thinks senior girls will be impressed with his penis. He thinks everyone with two X chromosomes are gagging for him.

How I feel about Carter in a nutshell: 
(and you will too, if you watch the movie)

Ben is simply:
Image result for jonny lee miller i see blah
That's pretty much all there is to Ben. He is intended to be the 
likable every-guy main hero. But he's a pile of sawdust.
(Sawdust actually more interesting.)

And Auggie & his scenes, while not hilarious, were at least:

And so, in the process of trying to get to this "epic" senior party that is just going to be the "night of their lives" (LMAO cough cough) they half-ass stumble upon a half-ass zombie not-exactly-an-apocalypse and then proceed to spend the rest of the movie being whiny bitches and NOT using boy scout skills but instead focusing on THE DESPERATE NEED TO GET TO THE PARTY -  the motivation for which being for Ben that his crush is there and for Carter that he is still planning for the (lol) getting laid. 

They maybe use a couple of their scouts skills here and there a bit throughout the movie, but it's nothing a layman couldn't do, to be honest. Sharpen a stick, tie a knot. Only as they prepare for the climatic battle scene (which has flashing lights to the point of being nauseating - look, I get it, you wanted to cover up your shitty effects and choreography, but there are less headache-inducing ways to accomplish your goal.

Ultimately the humor is crude - and not funny, silly, low brow, but Peter Griffin thinks this is genius low-brow, eye roll crude. I like a good fart joke, a good penis joke. But ugh. There is a line.
They took what is actually a clever premise, sucked out all the clever and replaced it with the lowest common denominator of what SOME consider humor. The end result is a movie that is virtually unenjoyable unless you are male and your voice is still cracking. Again, the few exceptions to this are (most) of Augie's scenes.

(Spared F by Augie)

Heads Up: Violence (fairly mild, IMO), language, nudity

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