Tuesday, December 12

3 Short Specials to Get You in the Christmas Spirit

I love holiday movies. I love Christmas. And I don't always have the time, patience, or inclination to watch my favorite holiday classics. With work being extra busy and draining and precious little free time to be had, sometimes I just want something simpler than a traditional holiday movie.

Here are 3 cartoons (the "Freakazoid!" one is only about 12 minutes long), from my youth that are funny, sweet, Christmas-themed, and can be watched in the amount of time it takes to wrap a couple presents.

(Note: you can click on the video to go the dailymotion website and watch fullscreen and such.)

Freakazoid! - "In Army's Way"
PLOT - Freakazoid must stop the villainous Arms Akimbo from strong-arming (omg, pun not intended) local shop-owners and also find a great Christmas gift for his girlfriend

Pinky & the Brain - "A Pinky and The Brain Christmas"
PLOT - It's Christmas Eve and The Brain wants to take over the world. Pinky just wants to deliver his letter to Santa Claus. Good thing their plans actually line up for once.

Rocko's Modern Life - "Rocko's Modern Christmas"
PLOT - Rocko is feeling short on Christmas cheer, so he decides to have a holiday party. Also, elves have moved in across the street. 

Wednesday, December 6

Blog Posts I Won't Read

So my most recent Sunday Confessions post brought out a fair amount of "OMG, my feed has 8,000,000 unread posts in it and reading all those would be a wormhole into an internet black hole."

Now, I follow a lot of blogs.
But I only truly read a handful.
Some blogs I follow only because they occasionally have a good post.

So here's a list of posts that I immediately mark as read without even looking at them:

How to Make Your Blog ______.:
Skip. I used to read these and then I felt bad that my blog wasn't "visually appealing" enough. Things I see repeated:
- A "good" blog only has two columns, never three.
- A "good" blog is black and white for streamlined reading.
- A "good" blog posts pictures with every post.
- A "good" blog has giveaways, contests, and other things that up follower numbers.
- A "good" blog does not have curse words. (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA)
- A "good" blog doesn't have too much text. (Because of TLDR.)
And so the list goes on.

Now, make no mistake: several of the blogs I read happen to fall into one or more of these categories. But I think it's because that layout works for them, not to make their blog more visually appealing to the masses.
And obviously some things are common sense: if your font is tiny, pale pink, or a long block of text that is centered, that's going to create reading problems in the most basic, physical sense. But the above stuff I genuinely believe is just another way of telling women to conform and be what popular media says they should be in order to be "successful."
(Seriously, for me, "successful" is the fact that there are about five people who read this blog on regular basis. [Also, these people are the coolest people in the world.])

All The Beer:
Okay, I enjoy a good drink recipe, a good post about a night out or a night in, whatever. If the title is anything like My Drunken Adventures" or "Six Microbrews You Must Try!" or "The Best Five (insert state name here) Brews.
Skip. Don't care. (Exceptions: blogs I already read and follow on a regular basis. Heather, for example, has good shares on liquors that are fun to try.)

I cannot express how much I don't care about your coffee maker. You're probably the coolest person alive, but I do not care about how you make your coffee in the AM.
Also? Keurig's are wicked wasteful and pretty bad for the environment in terms of said waste.

Whole 30:
Oh, fuck no. Whole 30 makes me sad.

Bored GIF

What blog posts do you guys skip?