This is What's Been Happening:

This is What's Been Happening:

Oh man. 

I have been absent for so long. And my most recent posts (from months ago) all had large gaps in between. 

Here's what's been happening in my neck of the woods:

A lot of medical stuff.

◈ I just had a cardiac stress test for the first time yesterday. (Wednesday the 18th). It was a challenge and I didn't last very long. But I look forward to learning the results, even though I suspect they will be perfectly fine, (as in, I doubt there will be any tangible reason for the crushing chest pains I sometimes get). [Read: trust me when I say it's NOT anxiety.] The goal, however, is to get a cardiothoracic treatment plan going, even if that means being gentler with my exercise. When I get to exercise, because for the time being I am not, because of reasons.

◈ I have an upcoming electromyography test to assess my carpal tunnel and cubital tunnel syndrome. I'm not exactly looking forward to the test, because I have had one before and it can be painful at times. But I am looking forward to figuring out all the shit and working toward repair and regaining proper use and sensation in my hands. Currently it is so bad I cannot put earrings in, or put on a necklace. Washing my hair is both painful and difficult when it's flared. I can barely type. I have very little control over where my fingers go and how much pressure is applied to a given key. My fingers slip around on the keys a lot. Carpal Tunnel is one thing, but chronic, ongoing Cubital Tunnel Sydrome just makes it all unbearable. (I am unable to hold hand weights and having my wrists bent at any angle (say, for push-ups or downward dog or anything like that is excruciating and causes a long and painful flare).

◈ Next week I have an audiology exam. I have been through several of these before, but it's been a while. The ultimate goal is to get at least one and hopefully two hearing aids! That would be great! Fingers crossed.

 

Yes, actually.

 

◈ I was also finally able to get back into physical therapy for my leg/back for the chronic and often unbearable pain. Way back on September 7, I  had an initial evaluation to set up a treatment plan. Then, on the 11th, I was hospitalized with a staph infection and all plans of PT went out the window. I was on a very strict routine of how much I was able to be up and moving around and putting any kind of pressure on my foot for months. My boot eventually came off and eventually I was able to be re-referred to PT. 

 

Now, because of the odd combination of things falling apart on my body, there was serious concern among my medical team that I could have MS. Or something else, like a spinal tumor. So during my stay in the hospital back in September, they did an MRI on my brain & cervical spine, and then another MRI on my lumbar spine. 

The brain one came back normal, a bit of arthritis in my neck. I was in hospital for infection and foot issues, so my primary team was composed of Podiatry and Infectious Diseases. No one particularly concerned about orthotics. The report on my lumbar came back with some spinal stenosis and "nothing remarkable." 

 

Until LAST WEEK, when I had my first (new) consultation with my physical therapist. And we discussed the results of the MRI and she was like "you have a herniated disc in L5 S1." 

 

So next Wednesday is the start of physical therapy to work on opening up my joints, helping me move better, and relieve some of the pressure the herniated disc is putting on my nerves. For months, I have been walking with a noticeable limp that includes foot drop. It is for this reason that I have been unable to do cardio exercise like walking or gentle aerobics or even gentle yoga. The pressure on my nerves from my lumbar has been so heavy for so long, some of my leg muscles are essentially paralyzed. I am on a strong muscle relaxer that I take pretty much every night before bed. Otherwise my back freezes painfully and I cannot move, my thigh muscles twitch involuntarily, and my calf spasms into a charley horse multiple times a night.

Hence, the no exercise right now. 

 

I want to feel better. I believe I am on finally on the path to feeling better. To getting myself back. Because right now, it feels like my life has been stolen from me. From my inability to use my hands to being unable to walk, bend, or stretch properly (not to mention the shooting, stabbing pains), I feel...well, it is hard. Perhaps I will write more on the psychological aspect in another post. But it is hard. 

I am pleased to be on the path to a healthier and more productive future. (I believe.) But I am also impatient. Book the appointment, get the referral, book the referral appointment, schedule the test, take the test, come back for evaluation....the wheels of medicine move slowly. It is likely to be months before anything significant changes. I just. I want it now. I want it to be fixed NOW.