Saturday, October 21

Sunday Confessions October 22, 2017

I Confess: I HATE the NY Yankees. HATE THEM. The only team I hate more is the White Sox.

I Confess: Fell into reading more Harry Potter fanfiction and ended up accidentally reading HP porn fanfiction. Yup. 

 doctor who confused david tennant uncomfortable anyway GIF

I Confess: It's only 9:15 and I'm super tired. So I am going to bed. And this post is going up tonight so I don't have to bother with scheduling the link up, I can just post it. 

Friday, October 20

Film Friday: Nightmare on Elm Street Films, Ranked

A ranking of the nine major/canon Freddy Krueger films.

9.) Wes Craven's New Nightmare
This movie takes itself seriously but the meta aspect actually makes it less creepy than any of the others and the ending is just dumb. It alternates between unintentionally hilarious and dull.

8.) NoES 2: Freddy's Revenge
While this installment has some super awesome individual scenes, it also suffers from the worst premise in the entire franchise and some of the worst individual scenes in the series. Good scenes: everything with the overly masculine homoerotic coach. Bad scene: pool party.

7.) A Nightmare on Elm Street - 2010 Remake
Jackie Earl Haley is not an actor to sneeze at for the role of the infamous Freddy Krueger. In himself, he does a good job, and there are some interesting aspects to this incarnation that make it ultimately not a total suckfest, but definitely one that is not good enough for me to want to own. Think: "I'll watch it on HBO if it happens to be on." The biggest sin this movie makes is throwing subtlety out the window and opting for producer Michael Bay's approach to story telling which is less "show don't tell" and more "HERE LOOK AT THIS NEON SIGN THAT SAYS THIS THING!!!! LOOK!!! LOOK!!!"

6.)  NoES 5: The Dream Child
I had a hard time ranking Dream Child and Freddy v. Jason. In the end, FvJ  won out because while Dream Child is definitely a superior film, the whole baby thing always got to me, and the dramatic tone is heaviest in this movie. It often feels like less horror-with-dramatic elements and more drama-that-happens-to-be-horror.

5.) Freddy vs. Jason

Again, less quality than Dream Child, but this one is much more fun by far. The characters are silly, the acting is delightfully fun, and the mood is perfect. I just really enjoy watching this silly-fest.

4.) Freddy's Dead - The Final Nightmare
Widely considered to be one of the worst in the franchise, mainly because plot holes abound and also, it is openly and unabashedly the silliest of the series with Freddy being practically a cartoon, I have a special nostalgic place for this movie in my heart. Not for the scares, but because this is the first Elm Street movie I ever saw, and I always enjoyed the humor and fun Freddy had tormenting the kids in the movie. Also, Carlos and the ear scene have a special place in my heart, my ear situation being what it is.

3.) NoES 4 - The Dream Master
It's just a really good movie. The ending fight isn't my personal favorite, but the movie overall is awesome.

2.) NoES 3: Dream Warriors
Widely acknowledged to be one of the best of the bunch. Good story, good acting, genuine creep factor. There is a lot to love about this installment. It is immensely watchable.

1.) A Nightmare on Elm Street - 1984 Original
Obviously. The newness of the idea, the practical effects, the story, the genuine creepiness of the whole idea, the discovery of who Freddy is, was, and what he is capable of. The subtlety and the shock, so much to love. Nancy Thompson is the epitome of final girl and everything the living Freddy Krueger would've hunted. It remains creepy and delightful to this day.

Monday, October 16

Legend of the Dogman

In Northern Michigan's Lower Peninsula, perhaps the most well known legend is The Legend of the Dogman. 
The legend gained massive popularity in 1987 when some dude named Steve Cook wrote a song about the so-called Dogman sightings for an April Fool's prank, leading more and more people to call in to the radio station and report their own sightings. 
Except that further digging showed his prank actually had a bit of historical context, whether he knew about it or not.
People took super delight and the legend grew as things do when you write songs about them.

The legend is this: there is a creature out there that walks around on two legs and stands tall like a man but looks like a ferocious dog. Hence the name, "Dogman." He is said to come around in a ten year cycle, but can be seen outside of those ten years. Just, on that ten year cycle is when he is supposedly most active.

The Steve Cook Song: 

Some "sightings" have more merit than others. For a while, The Gable Film (it isn't interesting until the 2:25 mark) was considered by some to be proof of the beast's existence. Until it was demonstrated to apparently be a hoax

Evidently there is an entire episode of Monster Quest dedicated to this legend. I didn't know about the episode's existence until watching the video that analyzes and discredits The Gable Film (which I knew existed but never watched before). I didn't watch the Monster Quest episode straight through, I kind of bounced through it, and most of what I saw focuses on Wisconsin and their version of the creature.

As with any legend, reports vary and some are much, for lack of a better word.
Native Americans have stories about a Wendigo that roamed Northern Michigan. It is well documented that some early French explorers saw something in their travels they that referred to as the loup garou. However, I have not myself encountered any video or images that has me turned into Fox Mulder on this. One of the most popular images that is allegedly the Dogman, to me, is obviously a mountain lion. 
(Side note: the Michigan DNR for a l-o-n-g time has been emphatic about "there are no cougars in Michigan!" [think, "I did not have sex with that woman...] however, multiple people have reported seeing mountain lions over the years. The DNR, on their website, explains that yes, cougars used to be indigenous to Michigan, but right around the early 1900's were all hunted down and destroyed. (A win for animals and the environment. Sigh.) 
At any rate, this happened in June of this year, proving that yes, there are at least some mountain lions in Michigan's Lower Peninsula. 

Why am I sharing this story this year? 
Because the one cool thing is that the ten year cycle of the Dogman is said to end on every year ending in 7. As in '17, '37, '67, '87, '97, '07, and of course...2017. 
So if the Dogman is real and is on a ten year cycle of...feeding?...this would be the year he would be out and active. 

Happy Hunting!

Any creepy legends in your area? (Steff, I know you must have some!) 

Sunday, October 15

Sunday Confessions October 15, 2017

I Confess: My apartment complex has a MSHDA (pronounced mish-duh) inspection coming up because half of the complex is normal rate and half is income based and rent controlled. So they're coming later this week to look things over. It's essentially the same as when big wigs from corporate decide to visit at a workplace. So we've all had to be cleaning like crazy people. I mean, I am a pretty clean person anyway, but we're talking scrub your pantry shelves, dust behind the refrigerator level of inspection. Groan. I'll be happy when the whole thing is over.

I Confess: Yeah. . . apparently my uterus thought it would be funny to have my period start eleven days early. So much grrr.

 tv surprise american horror story ahs fx GIF

I Confess: There is this manager at work. And I like all the managers well enough. But there is one, whenever he gives instruction or suggestions, on the surface I'm like: 

 yes thumbs up nun no problem nacho libre GIF

And in my head, I'm like: 

Sorry I didn't get these out earlier today. I'll be better prepared and have the link button up again next week. 

Sunday, October 8

Sunday Confessions: October 7, 2017

I Confess: It is a very good thing the batteries in my scale died. I've been eating a lot less sugar (particularly refined) and I feel less bloated and such, but it's a good thing I cannot weigh myself because I am neurotic.

I Confess: As I type this, my cat keeps tapping my arm so I will stop typing and pet her. LOL Baby.

I Confess: Sometimes I wish I could write about work stuff, but I cannot. Alas. . .

I Confess: In the black hole the internet can sometimes be, I was looking for something Hufflepuff related and one click led to another (as is wont to happen when aimlessness and the internet meet), and I found myself reading Harry Potter fanfiction. I only read a couple little short stories, but still.

Friday, October 6

Film Friday: Little Evil


Brought to you by Eli Morgan, the same man who directed and co-wrote Tucker & Dale V. Evil,
Little Evil is an enjoyable horror comedy than leans a bit more to the comedy side. Not at violent as Tucker & Dale, with less gore, but still with a good "horror" sideline. References to Poltergeist, The Shining, and of course, The Omen are strong, with a handful of others tossed in less obviously. 

The main star is Adam Scott as Gary and Owen Atlas who plays Lucas, the titular "Little Evil." Evangeline Lily is present, definitely not the star of the show, but does shine in all of her scenes. I particularly enjoyed that her character, Samantha, was as far removed from Kate Austen as imaginable, and for that I am thankful, and I believe the difference will only serve to help Lily's career.

Let's take a look at the trailer: 

There is very little gore, (I don't actually remember gore, to be honest), the story is smooth and builds the conflict level-by-level.
It's a funny, enjoyable little movie that I would definitely watch again. The suspense factor is low, so I don't really think people who are non-horror fans or "don't like being scared" would have a problem with tension. As far as being kid-friendly, that's really a decision a parent should make, and would be on a case-by-case basis, pursuant to the sensitivity level of each kid and what they find humorous. (I would've laughed my ass off as a kid watching this. I also know a kid who would be terrified, so...)

It's a Netflix original, so it's available on Netflix, and probably will eventually be available on dvd/blu ray, but I don't think it is just yet.
Is it a fantastic piece of film making that is going to redefine a genre? LOL No. Is it a fun and silly shout-out to horror movies? Yup.

Heads Up: Some language, some violence. Lots of famous actors in small roles.


Wednesday, October 4

Age of Anonymity

So you know how tumblr does "asks" and you can ask anonymously? That's one thing I wish blogger had.
So instead I did this: 

It's all over the internet, so I decided to have some fun and join in. (I'll be sharing it on facebook and instagram so you can use the link).
Now, yes, I checked and yes, the messages are truly anonymous, there is no way to figure out who sends what message. 
I made this available to anyone, whether they are a sarahah user or not. If you have thoughts, comments, or - moreover, a question (like a a tumblr anonymous ask), then be my guest and send it my way. 

* * *

Also, tumblr has those questionnaires that are long lists of things and people tell you which questions they want to know that answer to? 
Yeah, I just decided to pick out a few questions and answer them here, since I have about 2 tumblr followers and truthfully I'm not super active there anyway. (I don't actually find it particularly user friendly.) 
So, here they are. 

Name your 3 favorite pieces of jewelry:
  • I have a necklace with a yellow base and some tiny orange flower in it that I bought for like, six bucks. I've had to replace the chain part two or three different times, but I LOVE it, and when I wear it, I tend to fiddle with it when I'm nervous. 
  • A delicate silver ring with a pink heart on it. My dad had given it to my mom, even though it wasn't 'her', at all. When I was sixteen, I was super defiant my my mom & I were having a huge row. She gave it to me right before she moved out after she filed for divorce and I refused to hug her. To this day, I wear it when I feel like I need a little extra luck. (Silly, I know.) 
  • A small delicate pair of skull & crossbones earrings that I received as a birthday gift from a friend.

What accessories would come with a doll version of you?

     This is such a clever question. It would be: 
  • Burt's Bee's lip balm because I am never without it.
  • A book, obviously.
  • Cat, obviously.

Okay, that's a little piece of me. I am a little less anonymous.

Books I Gave Up On

1.) This Charming Man by Marian Keyes
author site/source

This Charming Man follows the "One Man, Many Women" formula. In this case, it is Paddy de Courcy, a local politician and he is getting engaged. The story follows three or four different women who have known him and through them, we get to know him. (Spoiler alert: he's actually a jackass, but that's not a really real spoiler, because any reader with a half of a half of a half of a brain would know that within the first couple pages.

Each woman does manage to have a distinct voice, which speaks well of the author. However. The first woman we meet, Lola, is no less than obsessed with him. Her voice is a not-at-all-subtle shout-out to Bridget Jones, except that Lola is not funny and doesn't have that kind, warm heart to make up for being so ditzy. In fact, Lola is nothing less than infuriating. She falls for his glib manner, thinks the sleazy, skeezy things he does are "romantic" and turns into a complete mess and nearly destroys her entire career from being so upset when he gets engaged to another woman - in spite of the fact that there was literally zero indication that he wanted her for anything other than sex. 

I normally love Marian Keyes, but this was a rare miss. 

2.) The Tommyknockers by Stephen King
author site/source

One word: 

3.) The Taliban Shuffle by Kim Barker

Ugh. Groan. I was super intrigued by this book because I had watched Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (and hated it), but I figured obviously something had been lost in translation, the book would definitely be better and more thorough and - all the things.
And then the book was worse. 
For one thing, the way the book was written was all over the place, flitting around like a drunken butterfly. I knew more about Kim Barker's wardrobe preferences in the first five pages than anyone should EVER know in a book written by a professional journalist that is ostensibly about being on assignment in a war zone. 
All I could think while I read what I did of this book is that this is why people hate Americans. This is why people hate American women, and especially White American Women. It is one thing to tell a story about an experience and have it be filtered through your own view, or to relate a memoir about yourself with the added backdrop of a certain place or time. This book should be called "Kim Barker somehow manages to make everything in the Middle East about herself." 

Have you given up on any books? Any recommendations?

Sunday, October 1

Sunday Confessions October 1, 2017

I Confess: I am about five episodes in on Season 7 of The Walking Dead and I'm just not really feeling it. I will continue watching, but mostly I just spend the time less emotionally invested and more wanting to be in the middle of a Norman Reedus/Andrew Lincoln sandwich.

I Confess: At my cousin's wedding, there was this girl there. I have no idea who she was. But her energy was BOUNDLESS. Dancing, dancing, dancing. Not coked-up/methed-up energy, but just...she had energy to spare because she was naturally energetic. Jealous. 

And that was the moment I decided to change my eating ways. Random, odd, but true.

I Confess: Shawn & I called in sick to work yesterday and today because of a flu-ish thing. So last night when I called in for today, they were like "Are you going to go to the Dr.?" And I was all "No, it's Sunday, the Dr.'s office isn't open." (In a "duh" tone.) And they were like "Well, Urgent Care is open seven days a week."
Because our old GM was pretty decent and understanding (and sometimes yes, some asshats would take advantage of his good nature) about call-ins. Our new GM is like "If you call in, you better have a Dr.'s note.)
Now, I understand where he's coming from . . . to a point. We have a handful of people at our work who show up when they happen to feel like it call in a lot. Like, a lot. And then we have people who don't call in a lot but it does happen. So I'm going back to work tomorrow, haven't seen the boss yet, but in my mind, I'm like:
"I am NOT going to spend half an hour driving across town to Urgent Care to wait for three hours for a doctor to tell me - yup, it's a virus, you should be doing what you've been doing which is resting and drinking lots of fluids and not be up and spreading your germs to everyone here and also at your restaurant where you work with raw food all day."

In FACT, one time a long time ago, I went to a doctor I don't normally see when I had a super bad chest cold and I thought it might be bronchitis. And the Dr. was like "it's a virus. Drink lots of fluids and rest. Take something for the coughing if you need to." And then he said: "If you'd waited a few more days, you'd realize it's going to pass on its own and you don't need to come to the doctor for things like this."
So, yeah. Policy is policy, but asshattery is asshattery.
We shall see how tomorrow goes.

What are you 'fessing up to this week?