Monday, December 3

Car Story (Part III)

Welcome back to car drama land, kids!

When we left off, some fuckwad had turned our car into can opener car

So, Shawn and I are resigned and annoyed, but what are you doing to do? 

About a week later....
I get a phone call from Shawn, who is headed to work. 

ME: Hello?
SHAWN: Yeah...I just hit a deer.

My reaction: 

Yeah, not as such.

So this happened less than a mile from our apartment.Shawn has assured me that he is fine. But he's worried about the deer. Because apparently the motherfucking deer just got up and ran away. (Which happens.) 
So he picks me up and we drive to where it happened and yeah, we can't find anything. No blood, no antlers, nothing. (Which is good; I didn't want the deer to be injured terribly.) We tracked all around and could find no sign of Mr. Deer. 
Oh, except for our front end:

Did I do something to a car in another life? I mean, it could be so much worse. But the car is only 3 years ours, as of September this year. 

So we file a claim with the insurance people. 
They give us a list of acceptable body shops.
We take it to one, get an estimate.
$3,127.05 for repairs, because basically, the way the damn thing is built, they have to replace the entire front shit. And it'll be in the shop for 4 days.

THANKFULLY, because we have full coverage, we only had a $100.00 deductible to pay. But we don't have rental coverage, so we have to pay for our rental car in the meantime. 
AGAIN, VERY THANKFULLY, even though our insurance policy doesn't specify rental coverage, the company we have insurance through has a deal with a particular auto rental place so that they work together and we only have to pay $20/day for rental. 

So we drive a rental around for a while. 

To be continued...

Wednesday, November 28

Car Story (Part II)

So when we last visited the Car Story, it was a simple matter of my neighbor being sort of a fuckwad.

Then, one week after The Conversation, Shawn comes home from work. Now, for those who may not know, Shawn works third shift. His work day ends around 7 AM.
So he often stops at the store to pick up a thing or two on his way home.

So it's one week after The Conversation, and Shawn comes home from the market and tells me this story, which I will summarize:

     1.) Shawn leaves work at 6:50AM. Car is in great shape. (He's obsessed with checking tire pressure on an almost daily basis.)

     2.) Shawn drives the 2.5 miles from his work to the Walmart.

     3.) 7:01AM - Shawn parks and exits the car, heads into the store.

     4.) 7:20AM - Shawn exits Walmart and walks happily to the car, feeling good that he picked up cookies for his PMSing wife.

     5.) 7:21AM - Shawn approaches the car and sees THIS:

So, somewhere in the twenty minutes Shawn was in Walmart getting a handful of necessities (and cookies), someone managed to ACTUALLY hit our car - and not just a-light-bump-I-though-I-hit-the-sidewalk - but there is NO WAY you wouldn't notice if you hit a car and did this much damage. Especially because, if you look closely at the side image, it looks like something got hung up on our car and pulled on the metal like a freaking bottle opener.
Alas, no note.
So now Shawn returns to the Walmart and is all, "Um, hello, let's check some video footage." And is informed that actually, the parking lot footage is pretty shitty and not likely to show anything. (Now, I spent five years working in the accounting office there, which is where, at the time, the security cameras were kept and the tapes changed. And at that time, the security was SHIT. I'm sure it's a bit better since 2004, but I can't imagine much better, since our local Walmart IS shit.) << Side note, it didn't use to be. It used to be a great place to work. But then the CEO and CFO were changed around 2005ish and things really went downhill from there.>>

So there's that. We're suddenly driving can opener car.
My stepmom and my stepbrother's wife are both like "It was probably your neighbor!" but the thing is, his car has no visible damage. I honestly think it was just some random asshole who was driving like an asshole and whom someday someone will do something like this to his car and not leave a motherfucking note.

PS - It gets better.

Friday, November 9

Film Friday: Feed

I don't normally do this, but I am going to put up a 
for this review. Much of the 
movie deals with anorexia.


Guys. This movie is really good. Not "I could totally watch this a million times and never be bored" good. But...quality and definitely underrated.

I'm going to open with: yes, the twins in this movie are too close. When the story opens, all is ostensibly good in the world. Olivia and Matthew are twins, and they are best friends. He's the charismatic senior class president. She's going to be Valedictorian. They come from - maybe not "wealth" but definitely money.
She is perhaps a bit of a perfectionist with her studies, and maybe a little bit awkward, but in that smart, quiet, everyone-actually-adores-her way.
And nobody adores her like her brother does.
There is a dinner scene where her father is a bit of a dick, but not a total shithead. He makes little conversational remarks and everyone knows he's a dick, but he's not openly berating his daughter or anything. But we see why, with the parents they have, why the twins would be so close and protective of each other.
And then there is some stuff where you're like...what? Okay, I know she's a bit awkward, but she's also smart and popular and this jock dude is all about her, so it's not like she's some weird outcast that no one knows or likes. And yet...she only wants to be with Matt.
Until it's sexy time with her boyfriend and then Matt catches her and he flies into a (very obviously jealous) rage.
And it is never explicitly stated, but their twinhood is very clearly "you're the one I'll be thinking about on my wedding night."

Anyway, they argue because she was having sexy time and Matt doesn't like that, even though he was having sexy time of his own.
They argue in the car and he dies in the crash.
This is the first ten minutes of the film.

After that, the movie slows down for a bit, as we see Olivia in mourning and losing her appetite. She can't deal with life without Matt.
And then he appears.
Tom Felton spends the rest of the movie as Ghost Matt, a darker version of Live Matt. Ghost Matt is essentially the face and voice of Olivia's perfectionism, and specifically, her anorexia.
I both loved and hated Matt here.
Love, because - Tom Felton.
Hate, because - well, the voice of perfection, and more to the point, anorexia, is not a nice one, as many know.

I was pleased with how it showed Olivia in therapy, and even more pleased with the ending, which was ambiguous, but not really.

I would have given this moving a higher grade, but I really wanted to see a bit more about the twins' creepy relationship, and how conscious each of them was of it. Also, I think I would have liked to see a bit more of Olivia's personality changes according to her friends and such.


Heads Up: Language. Some sexual situations. Anorexia.

Wednesday, October 31

Car Story (Part I)


Here is an image of my car. (Not actually MY car, but the make/model/year from the Hyundai website).


Lovely, right? It's a nice car. Engine is great, it runs well. It met every single one of my hard requirements and almost (I would've preferred a v6 engine), every single one of my soft standards.

When we bought it, it had 60,003 miles on it. All clean, shiny, new, and beautiful. The engine still runs great.

So here is the first part of the Car Drama 2018:

About 8 (9?) weeks ago I was leaving for work, running a little late. Not terribly, but enough to put me in a rush. So I back out of my parking space and I'm glancing at the clock and I bump the sidewalk and I'm like "d'oh! Be more focused, Becky!" and I turn on the radio and head to work and make it there with two minutes to spare.

I work my shift.
I come home.
And my neighbor, whom I'm going to call Clifford,* is standing on his doorstep smoking, as he does. So I'm heading inside, when he calls out to me.

CLIFFORD: You know, you hit our car.
ME: (horrified) What? I did? When?
CLIFFORD: This morning, you backed into our car.
ME: (Still horrified) Holy shit! I'm so sorry! I didn't even realize. Wait, is that what happened? I thought I bumped the sidewalk! I'm so so so so sorry!

Clifford goes on to tell me that yeah, he and his girlfriend, Lola,* were getting the kids ready to go somewhere and I bonked their car. And I'm HORRIFIED. I ask about the kids and of course, he's all "oh, they were upstairs" and I'm like "Ok, well, thank god they weren't in the car."
So this conversation goes on for like, fifteen minutes.
He keeps reiterating that I just "left the scene of an accident" and Lola called the cops and they reported it, but I'm lucky because he, Clifford, is not a bastard and didn't report WHO hit their car and left the scene because we're neighbors and he's knows I'm a careful driver and not someone who actually would leave the scene of an actual accident.
And that's annoying me a bit. Because yeah, I left. I was distracted and in a hurry and I thought I bumped the curb and went on my way to work.
Because I thought I hit the curb.
1.) I would NEVER leave the scene of an actual accident.**
2.) I thought I bumped the sidewalk. No WAY I hit their car hard enough to actually damage it, or anyone who was or wasn't inside at the time. I'm not saying it's all cool, but....

So he's going ON and ON about I don't have to worry because the police don't know, even though he filed a report. And he reiterates several times about how he's a good guy for not reporting me because I should know that I could go to jail for that.

I don't see his car, and he informs me that Lola took it to get checked out, in case of issues.
I check out my car, which is fine, and I'm nodding and I tell him to let me know if the mechanic comes back with anything.

The following day, Lola and the car are back and the car is fine. I look at it and I can't even see a scratch. (I feel I need to point out that his car is ancient and also a piece of crap.)
The day after that, I see Clifford and he says Lola is still pissed, but I'm so lucky he talked her down and yeah, the car is fine, so I'm so lucky.
I apologize again and tell him I'm glad the car is good. See ya around. (While I don't dislike Clifford, I'm not particularly fond of him, either.)

Then, six weeks later...
I get home from work. I had a crap day.
Clifford is standing on his doorstep, smoking. I start walking toward my door, anxious to get inside and have a bubble bath and read some fluffy brain candy.

And he calls out to me.
Tells me his car is making a clunking sound.

He continues about the clunking sound and how I'm really lucky and should be really grateful because I could go to jail but because he's such a good guy, he's not banging on my door demanding money.


He continues just kind of running his mouth and I am saying very little. And he's suggesting that we "work something out" because of the noise, and because I "hit his car and fled the scene of the accident."
I ask what the problem is, specifically. He says he doesn't know. He wants the name of a mechanic and we can "work something out."


ME: Well I find it odd that it happened six weeks ago and this is the first I'm hearing of any noise.
CLIFFORD: Well, it started about three or four days after you hit us, and it's been getting worse.
ME: You had the car checked out that day though?
CLIFFORD: ...........
ME: If it started just a couple days after, then why is this the first I'm hearing about it?
CLIFFORD........I mean, I figure we could work something out. I mean, I know you're not someone who would normally just hit someone and run off. Lola was pissed, but you know, I told her, I know you, and you're not someone who would just take off. And I mean, I'm not banging on your door demanding money.
ME: I can recommend some good auto shops, but I'm not paying your mechanic bills.

I have not actually heard anything more on the subject since that conversation. There were several times when Clifford would happen to be on his doorstep every time I arrive home from work. (He doesn't work.)  But Shawn also got into the habit of coming out and standing on OUR doorstep whenever I pulled in, just in case Clifford decided to try to ambush me again. After a week straight of that, Clifford stopped being on the doorstep when I get home. Once he happened to be and I nodded and said hello and he ignored me.  So, whatever.

That's part 1. More Car Drama to come! :) 

*Names changed
**Barring, of course, zombie apocalypse, etc. 

Sunday, October 21

Sunday Confessions: October 21st, 2018

I Confess: I have not decorated for Halloween. (And I don't plan to.) I am just not feeling it this year. I haven't even been watching scary movies. I was planning to do a ranking of the Halloween films for a Film Friday review. But, alas, meh.

I Confess: I have tried to design several new graphics for Sunday Confessions and I hate every single one of them. 

I Confess: I only recently figured out that you could make graphics in word by using alt+ and various numbers. 

I Confess: On the flip side of not watching scary movies, I have been reading a lot more lately. Mostly short story collections. 

I Confess: It's 8:30 on a Saturday night and I am going to bed now. 



Sunday, October 14

Sunday Confessions October 14, 2018

I Confess: I got pulled over on the way home from work. I'm all "Wah?" but apparently I randomly forgot to renew my plate registration. So I had been driving on expired registration since May. So I'm like:

I Confess: It has been several weeks now where I'm like: "I really need to get back into blogging...oh look - [insert distraction]. 

I Confess: It's already 3 in the afternoon. I got way distracted while working on this post and I still have to clean the house and I'm supposed to be working on writing. Thank god I have tomorrow off work as well. I need a snack. 

I Confess: Blogging isn't the only thing I've neglected. See above: housework. Shit. Snack and then work. For sure.

Friday, July 13

Film Friday: Jungle


Yes, just in case you are wondering, I am doing a bit of a Felton/Radcliffe theme right now. Because I can. 

Yes, I am going to confess. I am one of those people, in that I would probably not have bothered to watch this film if it wasn't for the star. I feel like I should be sorry that I'm not a person who gravitates toward dramatic and important films on the regular. There is a part of me that feels like a better person would. So yes, I confess. I watched this movie because I think Daniel Radcliffe is an enjoyable actor, not because I was so enchanted with the idea of the story in and of itself.

With that out of the way, let's explore Jungle, shall we?

It's based on a true story. (And it important to make that distinction, because "based on" a true story is far different from "inspired by" a true story. [Based on is meant to be more accurate.])

The summary of the story introduction sounds like it belongs in the "stupid tourists" sub-sub genre of horror films: backpacking friends meet a shady dude who offers to take them deep into the Amazon Jungle for real experience and shit. Which they go, because they want to REALLY EXPERIENCE life and The Jungle and such. (Incidentally, the director of this film also directed Wolf Creek.)
And shit goes down.
It starts slowly and continues and eventually through various events, Yossi winds up on his own.
For three fucking weeks, yo.

I have to admire Radcliffe's dedication to...destroying himself? Ugh. He starts off the movie handsome and adorable and by the end he looks like utter shit. I admire that because he didn't have to. CGI could have been used. (Probably to ill effect, but still. It was a possibility.) However, I admire it because hunger in itself can be such a demon. And this was obviously a very physical movie to make. But I admire authenticity and dedication. (Okay, there are some actors who go off the deep end and pull the whole "dead animals and used condoms" shit.) But that wasn't this. You get my point.

The movie is a MOVIE and therefore a lot of the psychological transformation happens through visual things, because film is a visual medium. (Apparently some critics felt too much was done through visual work, not enough...I don't know? Well, if that's what you want - read the book.)

There were things I wished I could know more about.
❖ I wanted to know more about Yossi's relationship with Marcus. How close of friends they were, how long they'd been hanging out together before this happened.
❖ There is a scene where Ghinsberg runs into a jungle woman, and I'd like to know if that was real or another hallucination. (Though perhaps Ghinsberg himself doesn't know.)
❖ I really wish I could know more about the guide, Karl.

Ultimately, I have decided to read the book, because I am genuinely curious to know more about the whole ordeal and perhaps be able to get the answers to these and other questions I have.

And of course, I was impressed that even though I knew the ending, I was still on edge and worried and even though I'd already watched the "behind the scenes" and such before watching the film, I was still grossed out at certain points. Which takes some doing, let me tell you.

I would liked to have seen just a bit more detail as to the relationship of some of the characters, the push and pull for leadership, what was going on in the heads of the three friends.

And finally, though about half to two-thirds of the movie is Daniel Radcliffe in the jungle by himself, I was never bored. And not just because of it being Radcliffe, but because my attention was genuinely held.


Heads Up: Language, Some Drug Use

Friday, July 6

Film Friday: The Apparition


Let's start with the tagline, shall we? 
"Once You Believe....You Die"

They do make a cursory "blink and you'll miss it" nod to the concept of belief being the catalyst which allows the spirit to attack, an idea which has been used (to much greater effect) in several other movies, notably The Skeleton Key, which is a far superior movie.
          ◆ The movie stars primarily Ashley Greene, most famous for her role as Alice Cullen in the Twilight films. (Groan.) And her boyfriend, Bucky Barnes Sebastian Stan. (It is worth noting that I have never seen any of the Captain America films, including Winter Soldier, so I cannot speak for the quality of Stan's acting as a whole. What I an say is that in THIS movie, he could have easily been replaced with a scarecrow and the performance wouldn't have lost anything. 
So yeah...the acting is shit. (Except for Tom Felton, who is drastically underused.)

 1.) There are a few scenes of "found footage/home recording" that is all shaky and jumpy with lines and stuff, as if it had been filmed with a shit camera in the seventies. During an alien invasion.
(I believe - especially with the !science! angle - that the presence of the supernatural is supposed to be creating interference. But they never say that, and the interference was there before the experiment was started, so no points for that round.
2.) The film starts off at point A, and then some shit goes down and then it suddenly goes to point...? C? F? There is little use of names, and even more egregiously, after point A skips to point ?, there is no "two years later" or whatever. So timeline establishment is poor, to say the least.

        ◆ I don't know if it's because the writer/director is a fan of horror and deliberately did it, but there are a handful of scenes that are wildly reminiscent of Dawn of the Dead 2004. Perhaps it was done as a shout-out? If so, it was a poor choice on several levels.

        ◆ Several things are spoiled in the trailer. Like, LOTS. 
        ◆ The entire ending is stupid. Just stupid and pointless and all-around lame as shit.

        ◆ The entire movie is Paranormal Activity but without being entirely found footage, and much less cohesive.

I could continue to rip this movie apart, but the fact that it currently has a rotten tomatoes score of 3% and only 24% of the audience giving it 2.5 or higher, is telling enough.


Heads Up: Language? Maybe? Ashley Greene spends plenty of time running around half-dressed, but there is no nudity. (Or scares.)

Wednesday, June 27

Lazy Monday Trip

On Monday, Shawn and I went for a little drive for fun. 
The weather was perfect - between 78°-86°.
We didn't go far. 

First, we stopped at one of the many scenic lookout spots that we have on our coastline.

 We stopped into a bar/grill intending to have lunch, but when we opened the door, it was like a scene in a movie where someone walks into a bar and suddenly everything goes silent and everyone turns as one to look and see who is there. I WISH I was exaggerating that. But it couldn't have happened better if a director had stood there and yelled "action!" So we awkwardly sat down and had some (shitty quality) cheese sticks and bailed.

We drove around and checked out nature reserves and tiny lakes and ended up going on a ridiculous trail hike which was only 1.2 miles, but it was all little hills with a steady trend upward.

When we eventually reached the first lookout spot on the trail, the view was of course worth it.

We ended up having a light dinner at The Mayfair Tavern in Elberta and then headed home.

It was a fun day. 

The Lake Michigan coastline is insanely beautiful. Some views require hikes, some don't. Some hikes are harder than others. But the view is always worth it. 

Friday, May 11

Film Friday: Train to Busan


First, let's take a look at the trailer: 

A (South) Korean horror film about zombies. That is mostly what you need to know about Train to Busan.
The first ten minutes or so are "slow" in that they work at developing character and showing motivation. It doesn't take long for the action to start, and once it does, there are few moments where the characters - and therefore the audience - are left to catch their breath, and most of those are filled with quiet suspense or even dread - because you know it's not over, you know everything will NOT be okay. It's done to good effect, demonstrating that our characters are not getting a break. (You know how some movies have so much action because the plot is thinner than 1-ply and the characters are worse than fiberboard? This is NOT that.) Of course, I won't go saying this movie delves deep into the human condition or who's-the-real-monster or anything like that. But you definitely can root for them, and care about why they are doing what they are doing.

I found it rather enjoyable, all around. Good action, truly terrifying zombies. 
For those looking for deeper meaning or prefer more science to their zombie films, this won't be enjoyable. But for anyone who just enjoys the genre, it should satisfy.

The only real problem I had with Train to Busan is there is some hinting at a bit of a larger story, where the source and cause of the outbreak is implied, although there had really been nothing earlier in the film to indicate said source/cause. HOWEVER. That said, it is a Korean film, and it is entirely possible and in fact likely that the larger story part got lost in translation. Still, it doesn't take away from the enjoyment of the movie overall. 


Heads Up: Violence (fricken duh), blood/gore, mild language.

Sunday, May 6

Sunday Confessions: May 6, 2018

I Confess: I was goofing off on instagram looking at Harry Potter shit, when instagram helpfully suggested that I might be interested in following Tom Felton. And you know what? Why yes, thank you instagram, I think I will.

I Confess: I used Color Oops to remove hair color buildup from my hair and also hopefully even out the tone. And now my hair is roughly this color. And not in a good, happy way. But in a maybe-I-should-just-shave-my-damn-head way. I'm sure it will fade and become more natural with more washings and eventually I will be coloring it again. But seriously.

I Confess: You may or may not know that I have a tendency to bounce around with my writing. Which is not conducive to productivity/goal reaching and such, but is kinda fun because I give myself free license to just write what I'm down to write. 
So I decided to write some porn stuff. And it started off great...until a plot started developing and characters started getting developed and so now it's like a normal novella, but with smut. 


Although it has been SUPER fun to write! 

Do you read anything erotic/smutty/porny? Would you? If so, what level of plot-to-smut do you like? What kind of stuff would you read? You can respond here or via facebook messenger or private instagram message or whatever. I really am looking for feedback.

Friday, March 23

Film Friday: Love, Simon


Love, Simon is a light and sweet coming-of-age story with the twist that Simon is not just coming of age, he's coming out. It is very much reminiscent of the John Hughes films of the eighties and I mean that as a compliment. Based on the book Simon vs. the Homosapiens Agenda,(which I loved and definitely recommend), the film stays fairly loyal to its source material with only minor changes.  

There are plenty of laughs and a couple of moments that aren't necessarily tear-inducing, but my eyes got a little misty and I welled up a little bit. 
Simon makes us genuinely care for him, and to genuinely root for him as if he is someone we know. The ending is a bit clich√© and probably takes the furthest steps from the book, but in context of the movie, it at least makes sense and itsn't over-the-top ridiculous. 
While the performances didn't call for Oscar level commitments to character or scene, the acting was solid, and I do think everyone came across as true. Nick Robinson has been on the way up for a few years now and this movie solidifies his future as a lead actor. It wasn't necessary to have Jennifer Garner play the mom, since it is a small role, but perhaps her star power helped the film get made and - as anyone with an electronic device can attest to - advertised the hell out of. (Smart move, 20th Century Fox. Smart move, indeed.) 

Heads Up: Language. 


Saturday, March 17

Sunday Confessions: March 18, 2017

I Confess: Work has been stressful lately. I got written up for "talking smack" & "spreading rumors" about a co-worker - the one I referenced in last week's SC, saying I had hatey feelings. I'm going to call this person *Travis. So, Travis had/has a bit of a cliquey club, of which he was the ringmaster of. So one of his friends did something that got on my nerves and I snapped and said I was sick of this little clique's bullshit. (Only two people were around at the time, neither members of his little group. Anyhow... Travis and all his little cliquey friends find out and they all go the store manager to tattle that I said mean things. Which is true. I said them, and they were NOT NICE. But. They were true
(Admittedly, I probably shouldn't have spouted off that I hope he chokes on a bag of dicks.)

I Confess: The same day I got written up, Travis quit. Just walked in at his normal shift time and said "I'm done." I do not know what reason he gave for quitting, but I suspect it was something along the lines of "can't work with her anymore." What no one knows (or gives a shit about) is that Travis didn't suddenly feel like he just couldn't take working with me anymore. He had been job hunting for months, had a job lined up, and for MONTHS he had been saying, "When I leave here, I'm going to come in on (X) day and be like 'See ya! Do X Yourself!'" 
But either no one else knows or cares or whatever, because somehow it is my fault that 'Saint Travis' decided to quit and leave them in a lurch.


I Confess: The backlash has been...draining. The manager who was besties with Travis has not retaliated because - that's a big no-no, but the vibe is there, and the snide remarks are made with the rest of the their little Cirque Du Clique in corners like a group of twelve year olds. (Most of these people are in their early twenties and I am SO VERY MUCH reminded of how many kids I work with.) A few people have "unfriended" me on facebook, which is fine, because I barely use it anyway and I don't want their bullshit in my feed at this point anyhow. There has been silent treatment from a couple people, no one deeply important. When others chat with me, a couple of the clique members give them dirty looks √° la Ron Weasley "You're fraternizing with the enemy." It's honestly like being back in elementary school.

I Confess: Most people at work have been fine, and a few of my friendships have been unharmed - so far, only time will tell with a couple of them. A small handful of people are like "this whole thing is dumb, people are so immature, WTF, also, let's sing!" I'm sure in time the bullshit will die down, even if their hatred of me for my hatred of their leader will not. 
It's just stupid and petty and seriously just draining. 

I Confess: I still hope he chokes. Maybe I've added a person or two to that list. 

Related image

stock photo credit:

Wednesday, March 14

Body Shape | Le Sigh

{{{This post was inspired by/poached from this post by Heather.}}}

Well, let's start with the basics: 
I'm not going to tell you my exact measurements because while I am working on body acceptance and body positivity (for all sizes and shapes and colors and ALL) - I'd be lying if I said I was okay with my own size/weight and sharing it with the world. Maybe someday.

What I will share is that I am 5'2", for all intents and purposes. Depends how straight I stand up.
My bra size is DD and I find it hard to find a bra that fits well and is reasonably comfortable. That's all I ask for, and it's practically impossible, unless I want to spend $60+. (The answer is no.)

When I got married in 2006 and got fitted for my wedding dress, my measurements were:
Your bust is size 18.
Your waist is size 14.
Your hips are size 10.
(I am bigger/ heavier now.)

For me, there is no guesswork.
I am an:
inverted triangle/apple/ectomorph.

Some Stuff I Do Know About My Body/Appearance:

  • I have small feet. I can frequently (not always) get away with wearing kids' shoes. The shoes I wore to my wedding were from the little girls section. However, the width and depth of my feet can also make it very difficult to find good shoes.
  • I have bad posture (probably from a combination of the weight of my boobs and also years of trying to make myself as invisible as possible). It's a work in progress.
  • I was a towhead right up until 8th grade when my hair started to change. It wasn't until 10th grade that I accepted having light brown hair.
  • My eyes have that golden ring in the irises from the melanin thing.
  • My feet get cold easily, even when the rest of me is sweating.
  • I have literally ALWAYS been chubby. Pictures of me as a baby and up through toddlerhood into childhood are proof of that. 
  • My neck is very short.

Some Stuff I Have Been Told About My Body/Appearance: 
  • "That hair color doesn't suit you." - when I had purple hair in my early twenties
  • "If God meant for you to have tattoos, you'd have been born with them." 
  • "You need to tame that shit down." - About my hair.
  • "You have a really sour face." - My mouth shape is naturally down-turned.
  • "Why are your boobs so big?" - A random kid in a grocery line.
  • "There's nothing worse than a fugly fat chick."  
  • "You should wear make up more often." 
- Okay, so the above ended up being more negative (except the kid, who was honestly just curious), and I searched my mind for compliments or positives and they pretty much all ended up like...not there?
   Of course people have complimented me or said nice things before. Female friends have said things like "I think you're beautiful," and I know Shawn finds me attractive. I'm sure my parents told me I was pretty when I was young - surely they did, but I cannot recall, which is odd because I have a pretty stellar memory. *Shrug.
   (It is worth noting again that this is related only to the physical.)

 I haven't been able to identify any specifics as to what part of my shape or appearance yields the most comments. I think it depends on the group the comments come from, but it doesn't really matter because no one has more commentary on my appearance than me.

I should also note that I am trying to work on body positivity and I'm doing great - with literally everyone else. With myself, I am still stuck trying to just accept myself.
But it is hard.
Very, very, hard.


Tuesday, March 13

Sunday Confessions 3-11-18I

So get this: I wrote this and everything on Sunday around noon. It was all set to go and perfect and I go to check comments today and dur - I hadn't actually POSTED it. Oi. So enjoy, two days late:

I Confess: I've been doing a lot of writing lately. A lot of times I write fiction stuff, but lately it's been all non-fiction, Becky's life/memories stuff and it's been leaving me drained and emotional and all the feelings (but it is cathartic).

I Confess: I am SUPER glad to have gotten out of work early today, because one of the managers has had a rough couple days (as has literally everyone who works at the restaurant), and she just felt like taking it out on everyone this morning.

I Confess: I have had some very angry, bitter - downright hateful thoughts about one of my co-workers recently. Much more hatey than my normal hate.


Saturday, March 3

Sunday Confessions 3-4-18

I Confess: I fucking love "Pumped Up Kicks." 

Like, I know what it's about and especially today, I kind of feel like I shouldn't like it so much. But it gets so stuck in my head and I sing it to myself quite often at work when people are being asshats.

I Confess: I love that my computer doesn't recognize "asshat" as a word.

I Confess: So we have the Director of Operations for Applebee's coming to visit our store on the 8th, a Thursday. Oi. I am already anxious in my gut and it's so much not fun. Can we quit with the visits already? I mean, we keep failing on a bigger and bigger scale and so we get more and more visitors and also it turns perfectly normal human beings into...erm...crazy human beings, and not good crazy. Everyone is stressed out (especially the managers, understandably so). Groan.

I Confess: Remember the other computer that I left the dvd in? Well, I exchanged it and that's all fine and the new one I love and it's all good. Except that I keep accidentally doing things on it and I don't know how I did it. Working on figuring that out. It has to do with holding buttons down and it thinks I want to do that button forever and I'm like "no, no, no. Stop. Stop doing that." It's nothing serious. But yeah. I feel out of my league and kind of wish I could put dummy instructions on this computer instead of making me dig for answers. 


Wednesday, February 28

Baked Bacon

So all over, everywhere, I have seen recipes and how-to's for baking bacon. I tried it once, maybe?  I can't remember trying it, but I think I did. So let's say this is my first time. (LOL only with cooking. Definitely can't use that kind of logic with say, sex. "No, I don't remember doing that, so it didn't happen." LOLS)


So I was hungry and hankering, and I hate cooking bacon in the frying pan. It's so...ugh, splatty, and you have to like, check it and turn it and basically I'm lazy as fuck and don't like splatter.

So I baked that package.

1.) Lined a baking sheet (technically a "jellyroll" pan because it has those little sides, which I HIGHLY recommend) dull side up.

2.) I use cooking gloves in the kitchen because I hate touching raw meat.

3.) Just a normal size basic package. I think it was 12oz., store brand, not thick cut or anything special.

4.) I put it on at 375°(F). 
Started with 10 min. Then 6 more minutes. Then 4 more minutes.
And then I was satisfied.

  • It could have come out after 16 minutes, for those who prefer...less crispy/cooked bacon. I honestly could have cooked this for a few more minutes, even, because I like really crispy bacon. 
  • I could have let it cool and refrigerated it for later, but I was specifically making it for breakfast today.
  • The foil was perfect. I do have specialized "non-stick" foil, but it wasn't necessary and the bacon came off super easy.
  • The special benefit of the jellyroll pan is that it kept all the grease inside the foil, so literally all I had to do was  crumble it up into a ball unto itself and toss it. Easy-peasy!

1 package regular thickness bacon.
Lay out on (jellyroll preferred) sheet lined with foil, dull side up.
15-25 minutes @ 375°F, depending on crispy preferences.

Honestly, it was so freaking easy, I can't believe I made such a big deal out of worrying I wouldn't do it right. And it would be super easy to do multiple packages in a row or use two trays at once, or whatever.

Sunday, February 25

Sunday Confessions 2-25-18

I Confess: I have achieved the official level of "I hate my job." Yes, I officially hate my job.

I Confess: I finally convinced Shawn to let me read World War Z to him and he is really enjoying it and I'm like "Score! I knew you'd like it, sucker! Ha ha, I win!"

I Confess: My old computer died, so I bought an inexpensive laptop from Walmart, but I had to return that because there were issues with the mouse touch pad. The confession, however, is that a couple days after returning it, I realized that I accidentally left my copy of 28 Days Later in the dvd drive.

Saturday, February 10

Sunday Confessions 2-11-18

I Confess: I have a lot on my mind right now and I can barely focus. 

I Confess: We had a surprise corporate inspection at work a couple days ago and we failed (quite sensationally, I am led to believe.) 

I Confess: I had cookies for breakfast yesterday. 

I Confess: I have written about five different confessions and deleted them all because I want to say stuff, but I can't for one reason or another. Refer to confession one.

I Confess: I kinda hate this confessions post, because it sucks balls, but it's all I have this week.

Wednesday, February 7

Crow on Flowering Branch

So I was pleasantly surprised to receive a collaboration offer from Yay!
I was genuinely delighted at the prospect of working together and also - art! Who doesn't want something awesome for their walls?

I actually found a piece that really called to me the first time I visited the site. Still, I spent a couple hours perusing the choices and looking at all the different categories and styles, bookmarking several for compare/contrast.
In the end, I ended up with the first one that had called out to me, "Crow on Flowering Branch."

I didn't consult Shawn before making the choice, and I am super happy with my decision.
It didn't take long to arrive, and shipping was free! (Happy days, because I despise paying for shipping.)
Here it is in the box:

I absolutely made Shawn assemble it because I have zero (and I mean zero) skill when it comes to things like that.

And all hung up, above the couch: 

I was surprised to find out, during ordering, once you've picked the canvas you like, (I don't know about self-submitted images or full murals), you can crop/size it to fit the area you plan to put it, or just for how you like the picture. It does a show a preview of the crop size, so you know what you're getting into. 

I kept mine to full size, so the width is about 36", and I think the height is about 27"? ← Don't quote me on those measurements, but they're close.

I really love it, to be honest. I would order from them again, would be willing to experiment with sending in my own image to see how that turns out. 

And of course, readers benefit too!
If you order from Photowall within the next 30 days, you can use code USofBeckyCampaign2018 for 20% off your order. So hells yeah! 

***Note: This is a sponsored post. I received my print for free in exchange for my review & honest opinion. Not compensated with money. All opinions are honest and my own. ***

Sunday, February 4

Sunday Confessions February 4, 2018

I Confess: Go Eagles! Go literally any other team than the Patriots. That's right. I'm a Patriot hater. 

I Confess: I am trying very hard to be more body positive - and I'm getting there - except with myself. I mean, I'm more accepting of myself as I am than I have ever been before. And yet - still feel like I am actually just a giant blob getting bigger and blobbier by the moment. 

I Confess: I have taken a nap every single day this week.